August 22, 2010

Hello all. Ive decided to "once again" get with the program. Recently I have been feeling some pain in my knee and my feet have been swollen. I know that heat can cause this but I know that weight has more to do with it. I know that I am stronger than this. I just have to do it. I can not and will not accept myself how I am. This is not the person that I feel that I am. When I look at my reflection, I ask myself "who the hell is that??". I really hate it. I can change. Its free and its there for the taking. I have no one to blame but myself.


Just do it dammit!!

August 21, 2010

Hello all. Tonight was the night of my 25th High School reunion. I wasn't planning on going, but I really wanted to. My band The Rabid Aardvarks had a show tonight in Port Washington, so I was happy that I had an excuse. I had originally blocked the day off because of my reunion. When the show came up, I thought "here is my excuse not to be able to go to the reunion". The last 6 months, we have all kept in touch thanks to Facebook. This would have been an awesome reunion. I know that people change. They gain weight, look older, grey hair, no hair...etc. In my mind, I was going to walk into that reunion and be the only one that has changed. I didnt care so much that I was overweight. I didnt want to have to explain my stomach to everyone all night. I was going to get a "yes..its a hernia" t-shirt to wear tonight. Funny thing..this was exactly the same thing I went through 5 years ago. I even road past the bar that was hosting our 20th reunion. I told myself that 25 would be different!! It wasnt. I am really going to have to do some deep thinking to get myself out of this mess. I just watched the video from tonight and dont even know if I want to be performing in the state that I am in.


Decisions....decisions....decisions!!!

Goodnight
Better tomorrows.
Scott