September 28, 2009

Hello all. As we come to the close of another month, I am reminded that I haven't been the most religious blogger. I posted maybe 5 this month. That is just not going to cut it. I am letting myself down, and showing others that I just must not be taking this serious. I obviously am not. I read all of your blogs everyday and see the tremendous accomplishments that you are all making. I wonder what it must feel like. WHAT? Wonder what it must feel like? I have the power to be one of the success stories. I don't want to be looked at as an occasional blogger. I would like to be one of the inspirations like so many of you are. In two weeks it is going to be the two year anniversary since I saw the doctor about my hernia. He said then that I have to lose about 70 pounds before they can operate. He also said that about 90% won't lose the weight required. I remember telling him that I would be one of the 10% that would....yeah right. Two years have gone by. I should have lost the weight, had the surgery and lost more weight by now. Instead I sit hear almost exactly the same as when I went in there. Talk about wasting your life. And still I am ashamed to go in public, embarrassed to go on stage, frustrated when I go clothes shopping and waking up with stomach pains. When will I learn there is no Pros to being like this. I made a list of the pros and con's of being morbidly obese. Sure, I would benefit in a strong wind storm, but that's about it. All kidding aside, there aren't any benefits. I will be 50 in seven years and nine months. I would like to have the rest of my forties be happy ones.
When I stared this blog, I called it "My road to a new me". I know that we all run into road blocks and have our bad days, but I really need to focus and stay on the road. Its a long journey and it should be a happy one. I know that it is going to be a hard trip. No cruise control. I will be tested by rough terrain, tall mountains, winding roads and traffic jams. I just need to keep that foot on the pedal and keep an eye on the rear view mirror and wave goodbye to the place that I never want to return to. I have my GPS set for a happy and healthier me~!!!!